This Belly has a Mind of It’s Own
I went to get my quarterly haircut last night, and after sitting down in the stylist’s chair for 5 minutes or so, another woman who was sitting across from me suddenly pipes up, “oh, you have a belly!” I’ve never met this woman, and have no idea if she’s another stylist or a client or just someone’s friend who was hanging about waiting. But she’s right: I do have a belly.
“Yep,” I reply.
“How many months are you?” she asks.
This is such a standard question people ask pregnant women, and I know I’ve done it myself many times. The first time I was pregnant I knew exactly how many weeks, days and months I had been gestating, and how many I had left to go. This time I barely remember how many weeks along I am, which is an easier and clearer distinction than trying to fit 40 weeks into 9 months instead of 10. All I am focused on is the hard deadline somewhere around the beginning of May.
“Five, I think.”
“Oh. You’re big for five months!” she exclaims.
“Well, the second one goes pop sooner than the first,” I laugh. Eventually she disappears somewhere for the remainder of my cut.
After I got home I thought about this woman’s comment. Who says that to a woman, let alone a pregnant one? Wow, you’re huge. Way bigger than you should be. What is the appropriate response? Yes, I ate lots of cookies during Christmas. Yes, I’m having quadruplets. Yes, my baby is so incredibly advanced even in utero that she is growing faster than your average fetus.
Someday, I hope this woman gets pregnant and actually experiences what it is like to watch your body expand uncontrollably.
I can definitely relate to this! I had a stranger rub my belly in a restaurant a couple weeks ago – when else would that be acceptable? I thought that pregnancy would be the one time when I wouldn’t think at all about my figure but I’m finding there are certain rules about pregnancy. You are only “supposed” to show at a certain point, you are only “supposed” to be so big at certain points, and you are “expected” to lose the weight immediately after you give birth. It is strange to watch my waistline expand but then I think about the fact that I am growing a human in there and then I’m much easier on myself. I haven’t seen your belly but I’m sure it is beautiful and that you are exactly the size you are “supposed” to be right now : )
oooh ya! I remember that in one day I was told by one person that I was very big for x months and by another that I was very tidy! I took it as a lesson and just went “ya, ya” whenever the size of my belly was referred to after that. As for the unsolicited belly rubs, I started rubbing theirs back
very effective.
Hope its all going well for you, x.
I must confess that I haven’t read your blog for a long time.
This reminded me of an incident very recently when I was out for dinner with a group of people and they kept remarking about how ‘small’ I am.
I thought that was hilarious! No matter if you’re ‘big’, ‘small’ or ‘average’ for the place you are at in your pregnancy, somehow it’s just not right.
Maybe they were just being nice, because in my opinion, I think I look quite huge [in a healthy, natural, pregnant way], but I felt the urge to respond, and ‘thank you’ didn’t seem appropriate because I wasn’t seeing it as a compliment.
So, to the group of sort-of strangers I simply said “You think so? With less clothes on I look huge. You should really see me naked.”
That pretty much stopped all comments [and conversation!] regarding my ‘size’.