everywhere around me I see people, people with ideas and loves and experiences, offering them up to me on silver platters and glimpses through curtains. There are so many, too many, more than anybody could taste in an entire lifetime.

so many things to be, too many things to do. A beach of a hundred million billion grains of sand is one single entity. so many potential arrangements and yet there is stasis.

I have to stop attempting to experience life through other people’s eyes, and open my own.

But I want to understand other people. I want to see the differences, the eerie similarities. I want to know what it is like to be an artist, an executive, a midwife. I want to make things happen.

I am at a point where every direction holds a path. some are wide and paved, some are narrow and fade away in places. some exist only in the deep unconscious, some don’t exist at all. how do I choose? what am I offering up on a silver platter? the answer lies, I think, in these two questions.

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