sometimes I get this feeling like I am in the middle of a fast-moving river and swimming with all of my stregnth to keep my head from going under. a feeling of incredible momentum that sweeps me up and out of my control.

I have learned from the past that it is not necessarily a bad thing. indeed, some of the best things in my life have started with this feeling. but it is scary to be aware of the point at which you no longer have control.

Watching the letting agent count my deposit today, I felt like this. When I dive into a swimmng pool, I feel like this. The point of no return. momentum. you just have to trust that you checked for rocks before you dove in headfirst.

I do think we will be better off in the new house than we are in this apartment. The landlady appears to care about maintaining the property, and about her tenants. the letting agents don’t seem as shady as some I have met. i am somewhat worried that it may be a bit small and a bit far away from town. But it is a much nicer neighbourhood than living in the “inner-city” and the house is better furnished, and close to work, a shopping center, a park, and the gym.

One thing is for sure…we will see. life will go on. and hopefully life will be a bit more enjoyable now that we have a reasonable landlord, a dishwasher and a fireplace.

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