I know I dissapeared for a while there, but here’s what happened: We shifted the site over to our own webspace at carchrae.net, then I couldn’t figure out where anything was or how to update it for a while. When I did manage to figure all that out, I started fixing things and loading directories of photos into the new gallery software, and I realized that in order to fix ALL the broken photo links on this site I would be sitting in front of the computer for days and days on end. The thought of that was too depressing for words and so I picked the “avoidance” coping strategy. “If don’t look at it or think about it, the problem will go away on it’s own.” And it didn’t. And so here I am, pretending that nothing is wrong and I’ll just continue writing posts like there is nothing broken about my website.

It was actually quite the illuminating experience when Tom moved the site. I had gotten so used to the way things were that I felt totally and completely lost trying to do incredibly simple things once they had changed, and started feeling really dumb and hopeless and miserable and got cranky with Tom for not magically imparting all his computer knowledge into my brain prior to the transfer. I didn’t realize how irrational, “Why didn’t you make sure I knew what I would need to be able to do before you changed everything” sounded until it actually came out of my mouth. And then I sulked and felt bad for a while before I realized that I am going to have to get used to this feeling of not being able to do simple things because I’m probably going to be in that situation for a good few months this fall. Haven’t been outside of the house in days? Couldn’t manage to have a shower today? Can’t even hold my eyelids open? Welcome to life with a newborn.

In more positive news, I’ve started swimming again. I love swimming, but I love it even more now that I’m pregnant. On land I am approaching the “dinosaur” stage of pregnancy. I feel heavy when I walk, when I sit, when I lie down, when I climb stairs. Small expenditures of energy make me feel breathless, and my ribs are starting to be pushed out by my expanding belly when I sit or ride in the car, which is actually my most uncomfortable pregnancy experience so far. But in the water I feel like my body hasn’t changed at all. I feel light, weightless even. Bouyant. I still get tired sooner than I would have before, but apart from that swimming feels exactly the same: smooth, soothing and meditative.

The only problem with swimming while pregnant? Having to find a bathing suit that fits. Oh. My. God. If bathing suit shopping is horrific for you NORMALLY, do not even attempt this while pregnant. Or take along an enormous dose of humour and self-esteem. The “maternity” suits fit like a burlap sack, the cheap bikinis were downright obscene, and the really nice maternity suit was twice what I was willing to spend for a maximum of three month’s use. I ended up with a slightly-more-expensive bikini two sizes bigger than usual, and it’s red with white polka dots. If I’m going to be obviously pregnant, let’s not beat around the bush trying to hide it. I will wear the TEENY WEENY POLKA DOT BIKINI and it will proclaim to the world, “This woman is growing a baby in her belly! Look, there it is! Can you see it moving?” It’s a good thing the only people at the pool this morning were the older ladies at the aquasize class who probably didn’t even notice, and wouldn’t have cared if they did.

So, yes. That’s about it in my life at the moment: new website hosting, sore ribs and a red bikini. We’re hoping to plan a holiday to England soon, like in the next month. After that I’ll be busy frantically running around buying a million things before baby makes his or her grand entrance into the world. I’m also considering switching to having a homebirth, but the decision hasn’t been made yet. (I can feel all of you gasping and saying, “A homebirth? Is she crazy?”, but I promise you I have done a LOT of research on this and need to do some more before I’m sure it’s the right thing for us.) But rest assured it is quite safe, perhaps even safer than a medicalized hospital birth. And we live 3.5 minute’s drive from the maternity hospital I would be delivering at, so if we do need to be there at any stage it is practically in our backyard.

Also, if anybody out there was thinking about buying us things for the baby, (come on, I know you’re all dying to go shopping for baby socks!) I have made up a list. It’s mostly to help me tackle this project that is Getting Ready for Baby in an organized and sensible way, but it is also essentially a list of the things we will need, the things that would be nice to have, and the lovely luxuries we probably won’t buy for ourselves, but if anyone feels like a wealthy and generous benefactor we’d be delighted to receive as gifts. So I will leave you with our Wish List. The links I’ve included are mostly for the purposes of pictures, or if you wanted to buy/send things online. We’d be happy to have similar things that are different brands/styles/colours, etc. Where I’ve included a brand name on the list it’s for an item that I think is especially good quality or I’ve had my eye on that particular product. /shameless self-promotion : )

Edit: Due to some more technical difficulties, I haven’t been able to create a new page for my wish list, as I would have liked to do. So, I’ve included it in this entry. Click on the link titled MORE just below and it will display the list. Hopefully I’ll have fixed this tomorrow and will have a proper link.

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