adventure
finished sartre today. I feel somewhat inspired, pulled by a need to do *something* with my life apart from being a companion and a customer service rep. what to to do is the question really. sartre speaks of the sense of adventure, that moment when suddenly something happens, something ordinary which strikes you in an extraordinary way, and you know that an adventure is about to unfold.
I had a good weekend, but two days into the week it is fading fast. went shopping, and bought loads of new underwear, a pair of new jeans and a zippered top which I love. it is sky blue, with rainbow racing stripes down the arms and a small rainbow embroidered on the front right side (left if you are looking at me). Went to the gym for an extended workout and came home with double the amount of energy that I left with. Got lots of little things done here, and I felt satisfied.
Thinking about the whole travelling vs living abroad thing. there seems to be a difference between travelling somewhere and moving there for a period of time. something in the attitude…if you are travelling, you know that you are always free to move on, unencumbered by the need to find a social niche. there is a freedom in knowing that you can be anonymous because you will soon be gone and nobody will hold you to how they knew you, you can be forgotten so you are free to meet everyone. I feel like I am not really drinking in all the cultural experiences that are available to me in this foreign land because I am too busy trying to make a life for myself here.
that said, we did have a good time on friday night with maura & gavin who are both entirely irish. we brought indian takeaway and watched new episodes of south park (the lord of the rings episode, and the one where kenny’s soul goes into the pot roast). maybe i am having a hard time simply relaxing into the irish social scene because I just can’t take smoking and drinking heavily. south park was hilarious though. I have often thought that I should start watching tv to fit in. these thoughts usually occur during coffee break at work, when the usual topic of conversation is last night’s tv programs. I then decide that would be worse than deciding to start taking sedatives, and consider buying a subscription to the guardian. I could definitely do with more knowledge of current events, especially given the events currently going on.
The window above my desk here at home is angled, set into the roof. there is a streetlight that shines through it. it is starting to rain softly, and it looks like stars.
