So, I went. I retreated for a weekend. It was quiet and peaceful. I napped, went for long walks in the woods, did some writing and some knitting and ate quiet meals while reading my book. I successfully navigated the windy, dark island roads in the rain and found my destination. In some ways it wasn't quite as life-changing as I had hoped, but I'm not sure exactly what I was hoping for. It was definitely quiet and restful though, and worth it for that alone.

Now that I'm back and have had a night of interrupted sleep I feel short on patience again. Nothing makes me grumpy faster than trying to get that last hour of the night's sleep while a little person is scratching at the back of my neck with too-long fingernails. Somehow, I feel like I should have figured this all out during my weekend away. Why don't I have the magic formula now? The only thing I can think of to do is cut Bea's fingernails. Maybe the solution isn't any more profound than that - the best we can do is to be pragmatic and accept such life truths as the fact that parenting a two year old requires a massive amount of patience and frequent fingernail clipping.

Days ticking by and it's time again for an update, but when I sit down to write nothing stands out as noteworthy or memorable. I wish I did more daily journaling, because then at least I'd have some notes to look back on and remember the funny little things that do happen each day. They just get forgotten and swept up with the dry leaves that blow in from outside.

As much as I love being a full-time (stay at home, unemployed, housewife, etc - choose the least offensive label) mom, after weeks going by in which the longest stretch of time I have to myself is three hours I start to get a little burnt out. Maybe this would be different if I were more extroverted and didn't need solitude to recharge, or maybe it would be worse, but in any case it can be hard to make sure everyone's needs are being met in a family. I've been thinking about taking a night or two out and going here, by myself.

This post sounds like I'm depressed or something, and I'm really not, which kind of makes me doubt myself and question whether or not I really need to spend the money and take time away from other things (like thesis writing) to sit in the woods by myself. I mean, I'm generally happy at home. I just haven't spent longer than 12 hours away from Beatrice since she was born. Two years ago.

In many ways I feel like I'm floating in a small boat in the calm before a storm. Things are easy enough now, but they are going to get a lot more difficult in six months. That's not a bad thing, and I knew what I was signing up for and did so gladly, but a little voice inside my head says, "take a little time out for yourself now, while you can really relax and enjoy it." Sitting in an ancient forest beside the sea sounds just about perfect.

Knitting guerilla groups cover anything and everything with yarn:

urban knitting: the world's most inoffensive graffiti

The tiger costume was really just a bit of cuteness overload:

Also, if you don't already know, we're expecting another baby in the springtime... the beginning of May, to be exact. :)

Ok, here's something I just don't get. Why do people bother putting their dog's poop into a plastic bag if they're just going to leave it sitting on the ground or hanging from somebody's fencepost? Who do they think is going to take that little baggie of treats away? We went hiking on Mt. Seymour a few weeks ago and I saw at least half a dozen little baggies along the trail.

Can you imagine a dog poop fairy who comes along the mountain paths at night to collect all the nicely wrapped baggies hanging on branches and sitting on rocks? She would sure be a great convenience to all those urban folk who want to take their dogs walking in the mountains but can't be bothered to carry the poop to the nearest garbage, or at the very least leave it beneath a bush or rock so it will biodegrade.

Tom finally found my banner photo in the depths of my website files and I figured out how to put it in the right place today, so Yay! It feels more like clearbluecup here now.

After several comments from friends and family about how much people have missed my blogging, (aw, thanks guys) I'm going to start writing again - it might just be a comment or two but I'll write something each week.

Today, I haven't much to say except that going to swimming lessons with a 2yr old is hard work. When I got back I lay down on the couch, exhausted, and watched a leaf in the magnolia tree dangle from a thread of spider's silk for what seemed like an eternity. It spiraled around, blowing from right to left and back again, all perfect and golden and timeless.

Sometimes I feel like if I had more time to spend alone I might just sit and look out the window for a long, long time.

I've finished sorting and uploading our holiday photos - they're up on Picasa right now, although I might upload them to Flickr eventually as well. We're giving Picasa a test drive, so let me know what you think of it in the comments.

Summer Holidays '08

Just home and then off again; this weekend we're going camping with friends just outside of Whistler. I can feel autumn approaching, so getting out there and doing summery things like camping is starting to feel slightly more urgent.

In the past week we got over our jetlag, I was attacked by a generic virus that gave me a fever and weird rash and I was also stung by a wasp, and we discovered that we've lost both the cable to connect our camera to the computer to download our photos and Tom's new kite. If we stayed with you during the last part of our travels, perhaps we left these things at your place?

My cell phone also joined the ranks of broken and useless electronics around the world, and I've been trying to decide whether to replace it with a supercool smartphone or another basic phone like the one I had. Part of me wants a shiny new toy, but when I try to imagine myself using it I can't come up with any situations in which I'd really need it. Logging into Facebook during playgroup? Browsing the web from the park while Beatrice is playing? Not really safe or necessary. Maybe it's for the best anyway. I can't imagine that I really need to add a BlackBerry addiction to my current internet compulsion.

But: oooh, they're so shiny and I could internet from anywhere with a wifi!

Just back from a three-week trip to England and Ireland to visit friends and family. Tired. Very, very tired.

We had good times, we had bad times, we swam in the Atlantic, we hugged pretty much every member of Tom's family, we got rained on, we visited old friends, we rigged up handspun yarn to temporarily fix our windshield wipers near the Cork/Kerry border and Beatrice got to play with more kids than ever before.

Photos coming soon, but first I've got to do a mountain of laundry and have a nap by myself in my own bed... :)